Hey Mets Fans! This is baseball at it’s finest! A 5-13 start! Worst record in baseball! But hey, the Mets do have a manager who spent all spring pushing fundamentals and all that hard work is paying off.
But let’s go back on the field and watch Carlos Beltran hit one homer after another in his quest for riches from his next team. He’s not selfish! Wink, wink… Watch as David Wright flips his helmet in amazingly accurate fashion towards the ground as he watches another homer die at the warning track or racks up another strikeout. All this while he’s thinking, “F@%$, I could be hitting 50 F’in homers in Philly!” Watch as Ike Davis attempts to show up a few more umpires after arguing balls and strikes. Watch the uncoachable Jose Reyes play the game the same way he’s played it for the last 5 years, never improving but never getting any worse either. Watch the 2nd baseman of the day screw up another double play. Check out the left-fielder of the day from double or triple AAA as they drop a ball in left field. Watch as the Mets pinch hitters bunt into double plays. Watch as Dish Network drops SNY and nobody cares.
Watch Terry Collins do more running than any current Mets player as he makes run after run to the pitching mound. No wonder Sandy Alderson needed a manager with so much energy! Check out the new Mets who, when they smell a win once a week, play it like the 7th game of a World Series. It’s April and it’s “ALL HANDS ON DECK!”
Look at the lack of people in the stands while the team announces the “Paid” attendance of 25,000+. Listen to the chants of “Sell The Team, Sell the Team!”. Watch as fans wear paper bags on their heads in April. Enjoy the notoriously long wait on the Shake Shack line that is now down to 10 minutes. Take part in the 7th inning stretch as the crowd sings, “take me out of my miiiisss-eeeer-eee!” while Mr. Met shoots t-shirts into the crowd, t-shirts that no fan would be caught dead wearing so they throw them right back.
And let me remind everyone it gets better. The end of this month and into May the Mets get to play an easy schedule. We only face the Phillies for 3 games, the World Champion Giants for 3 and then starting on the 20th of May the weekend matchups are the Yankees, Phillies and Atlanta.
But I am really looking forward to the August 5th game. It’s Jose Reyes Banner and Fiesta Latina night! Of course the trading deadline is July 31st so I expect Jose to be on another team and those banner’s may be included with the trade. I hope we get some value back for them!
Met fans, leave your ridiculously ironic Mets quotes in the comments below. I’ll string them together into a letter to the Wilpons and I’ll personally deliver it to Citi-field since the price of tickets will soon be less than a stamp! 🙂
The Mets Report 
I am figuring this is all sarcasm…but yeah it's been a tough beginning to a season that is sure to be disappointing for any Mets' fan.
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You got it. It's mostly sarcasm. You can't lose your my sense of humor over a team but it's not even Easter and it feels like a lost year already. This team is overmatched every night even against the worst teams in the league. They need to re-build this team around solid, quality pitching and defense. I feel a fire sale coming on.
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